‘Fifty Shades Freed’ -Review

Fifty Shades Freed is a 2018 film, also the third and final installment (nothing has every brought me more joy than writing that this was the final one) where Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey are now married and must deal with the hardships that come with a marriage all while dealing with someone from Ana’s past. The film stars Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, and Eric Johnson and I hated every second of this film.

The fact that this movie has officially made it into a trilogy honestly surprises me. Every time I’ve gone to see these movies I’ve felt the most uncomfortable I ever have in my life in any setting ever. I love going to movie theaters, it feels like home to me. I work there, I see people every day going to enjoy their movies and then a movie like this comes along and I feel so uncomfortable and awkward in every sense of the word. What I’ll start with about this movie is the story. There is none. This entire movie feels like one giant long honeymoon with exotic locations every scene with occasional moments where there’s some trouble going on that is meant to intrigue and worry the viewers but is nothing more than really crappy dialogue and making the most nonsensical subplots that really dedicate themselves to the dumbest situations. This movie attempts to create tension and fails in every single attempt. It’s scattered with sex scenes, bad dialogue, and some “action” as the lady sitting next to me called it as I we all filed out of the theater.

I can’t say that this film bored me completely because in many parts of it I was not bored. Not because it was good but because it was so bad I could not help but laugh. There was moments in this movie (multiple actually) where as I mentioned they attempt to create tension and it doesn’t work because the film is filled with shitty pop songs that play throughout the entire thing. There’s a car chase scene that looks like it’s trying to orchestrate a scene that you could normally find in the Fast and the Furious franchise but falls flat on its face by adding dump pop music with crappy editing and bad acting. As if I wasn’t laughing hard enough during that entire sequence they do the most predictable thing in the world and have sex in the car as if nothing had ever happened.

As most of us who have seen these movies may know Christian Grey is a very messed up individual in this universe with some serious issues and they do attempt to show that in this movie and make his character sort of come face to face with this truth. Nothing happens with his character though, this movie is an hour and forty minutes long and has had two films before it. This franchise has not only done a terrible job with the characters, but giving us any sort of room for the characters to grow. All of these films are the same. This film adds nothing at all to the series that already had nothing to offer.

Overall this film is nothing. It is absolutely nothing. The writing is horrible, the dialogue is ridiculous, the plot, the subplots, inner conflicts, characters, everything about this movie is awful. I’ve never seen a dumber film in my life. There are moments where you may find yourself laughing but not due to any joke going onscreen but because of ridiculous this film in its attempts to be much larger than it is. I give Fifty Shades Freed a 1/10.

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